


Not If It's You

by Risuu



Category: My Time At Portia (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Original Character(s), Tags Are Hard, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 23:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Risuu/pseuds/Risuu
Summary: If Laurent’s eyes are as blue as the ocean, then Higgins is merely a wayward sailor lost within them, drawn back and forth by the pulling tide, conducted by the veil of moon and stars that his husband loves so very much.





	Not If It's You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back babey!!!! Still stupid, still gay and still loving Higgins 24/7!!
> 
> This entire fic is just. A Mess I wrote pretty much all in one go. Basically just unloaded a concept on my keyboard and didn't look back. I appreciate I suck at pacing, so I'm super sorry if this reads badly and is all over the place, this is mostly just a very unedited ramble fic. Also the quote I used to start screamed "them" to me when I first saw it, so that's the inspiration behind what I wrote ahaha.
> 
> But yeah! This includes my MTAP OC, Laurent! There's more about him on my MTAP tumblr @mytimeatlautia, and I made a little intro info thing for him here: https://mytimeatlautia.tumblr.com/post/183708900113/so-heres-my-mtap-builder-laurent-hes-an
> 
> Anyway....pls enjoye....

> _“Pylades: I’ll take care of you._  
_Orestes: It’s rotten work._  
_Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.”_
> 
> -Euripides, from “Orestes”, An Oresteia (trans. Anne Carson)

If Laurent’s eyes are as blue as the ocean, then Higgins is merely a wayward sailor lost within them, drawn back and forth by the pulling tide, conducted by the veil of moon and stars that his husband loves so very much.

He has been led astray, dragged off his course, the dangerous path he had followed since the days of his vulnerable youth. A life of risk and uncertain circumstances that were written into his future, but Higgins so desperately wished to have control over that, to make those circumstances less dire than they were weaved out to be. For most of his life, he had contented himself with the knowledge that his merciless work ethic would keep his head above the water. He wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, and neither would his family, but only if he pushed himself to be the best of all the builders in town.

The determination that Higgins had was fire, and he was a barrel of gunpowder ready to explode. The life he led was surely going to work him into an early grave, but he could never find it in himself to care. His career as a builder had become an obsession, exceeding far beyond anyone else’s expectations, and worryingly so. But no matter the cost, no matter how much concern was thrown his way, Higgins would never stop clawing back his fate into a shape of his own choosing.

Yet he was never truly meant to be the master of his own ship, and the waves crashed against him without the slightest warning, threatening to break apart the jagged rocks that blocked anyone else from pushing through. 

Laurent.

Laurent, Laurent, Laurent.

The sea had a name, and it pulled him under.

The love that he gave Higgins burned, but it never hurt him. It was only enough to snap the builder out of his obsession, to ground him back down to reality, an endless, unrelenting downpour of care that never faltered, even in the wake of the fallout that often once followed.

Laurent was patience, Laurent was sense, Laurent was the flicker of light that illuminated every dark corner that took over his mind. No matter how much Higgins pushed away, Laurent would always be there to push back with strength that exceeded the older man’s own. When others turned their backs on him, when the townspeople simply withdrew and gave up on trying to help him out of his work crazed stupor, Laurent never relented, never stopped letting go of his hand until he broke through the ice and rocks that blocked the way to the builder’s heart.

And though he thought that he would never be able to admit it, Higgins is thankful. Impossibly, incomprehensibly so.

Together they are like fire and water, polar opposites to each other, but where Higgins is even more than just frustratingly stubborn, Laurent meets him halfway with an equal amount of tenacity. Perhaps, if Laurent wasn’t so devoted to his cause, he would have turned out much like the other people in Portia, only viewing him as a means to getting a commission done and a commission done well. Still, Higgins often finds himself wondering what Laurent even saw in him in the first place, what rumored ‘spark’ he could see in the midst of all the darkness, a spark that he apparently deemed worth salvaging. 

Yet there never comes a moment in his life where he isn’t grateful for what Laurent did. If the younger man had not repeatedly attempted to befriend him and pull him away from his contrived fate, he could have only dreamed of what he has now. 

For there on his left ring finger, is a silver band. 

It is nothing extravagant, nothing ornate or fancy in any shape or form, but Higgins has never been one for such flashy, gaudy tastes. Instead, the band stands for something much more meaningful, something that he feels that he could never live without now that he has it in his life. 

It is a symbol of belonging, a symbol of love and devotion that he will never let go.

And when he catches Laurent’s hands in his own as they lay together between the sheets of their bed, there is a barely audible clink of metal when their fingers intertwine. A matching wedding band also sits neatly around Laurent’s left ring finger too, a symbol equal to that of Higgins’ own.

Below that though, sits another ring upon Laurent’s slender hand. It is silver much like the other, only this time etched with an array of constellations and other night sky stars. It is the ring that Higgins made in preparation to propose to his now-husband, scouring over the library of Laurent’s astronomy books for countless references to use. 

His lover was never builder material, and made that quite clear when he first arrived in Portia. Building was simply a temporary means to an end so that he could devote his life to the study of the vast cosmos that stretched above the world, an astronomer and astrophysicist in the making.

Years after their first encounter, Higgins proposed with that ring, engraved with what he knew Laurent loved the most. 

Even then, he had his apprehension, his fear of rejection, a barrage of constant worry that churned in his stomach right until he got down on one knee and asked his star crossed lover for his hand in marriage. It was an anxiety fueled by years of self loathing, resurfacing despite all of the time that they had already spent romantically involved. Higgins had his doubts about himself in the far away past, and he had them back then too.

Never would he have thought that Laurent could adore him even more than the celestial sky.

So now they are married. Two husbands bound together for the rest of their lives, until death do them part, whenever that may come. Yet even then, the call of eternal slumber would never succeed in breaking them or their love in two. 

But for now, Higgins simply wants to enjoy the rest of the time that he has left with him on this earthly plane. Laurent has replaced what had once been his world, his only reason to keep going on in life, a life once filled with unfaltering misery and darkness abound. It was thanks to him, that he was able to escape again, given a third chance to live a proper life after he used the second to break free from his poverty stricken home.

To him, there is no future better than this one. 

As long as he has Laurent, he knows that he doesn’t have to be scared of failing anymore. He is no longer the man that he once was, a mess of broken dreams and frustration only worsening day by day with the pressures of his working life. Instead he is given a new purpose, a new meaning that he is prepared to work on and get better at for both his own and his family’s sake. He is not a failure by any means, and he will continue to work hard to support them all, but never again to the point where his body and mind threaten to completely give up on themselves. What good could ever come from hurting himself like he always has?

A man who was once a prisoner to his own fears and anxiety now walks free, and a free man he will be forevermore. That is not to say that he doesn’t often fret, but the pain that once controlled has long since faded away. It all simply melts under the sea blue gaze of his husband, sapphire eyes that practically sparkle under a pair of round rimmed glasses and a veil of long brown hair. 

He truly owes it all to him.

There is nothing sweeter to Higgins than the love that Laurent has given him, and he would certainly consider himself lost without it. Though he would truly hate to burden Laurent with all of his problems, so he is willing to rely on his husband as long as _he _is willing to rely on him too. 

This way, they work in perfect tandem together, as they always do with most things they encounter.

And when Higgins kisses Laurent like he is the most precious thing in the world, Laurent kisses back with an equal amount of unrestrained affection and love. It would be a futile effort to separate one from the other, as their hearts know nothing but the shared beat that they have together. They wouldn’t trade this for anything else in the world.

The two of them compliment each other like nobody else could, regardless of how they may be perceived by others. It is all chalked up to their individual personalities, but no one truly knows well they work behind closed doors. No one could even imagine the way that they tangle together in bed, slotted perfectly against each other’s bodies, deepening kisses and breathless noises resounding against the walls of their room.

Though much to everyone’s surprise, their love had borne them fruit of another kind.

Where Higgins has always been the man he is, Laurent is also a man in his own right, with two twin scars on his chest as proof of how far he has come. Never once has Higgins ever thought any differently of him, though the body that his husband has is one that has served to gift them a surprise like no other.

When he arrived in the world, he was fragile and tiny, high pitched cries that were lost within a bundle of blankets. Higgins remembers how his own legs nearly gave way when Xu approached him with the swaddled child, shakily sitting down as the doctor beamed and handed them over.

The baby was a boy, a soft, gentle little thing that fit snugly into both of Higgins’ hands. A precious, vulnerable life that was now part of their own to nurture and protect. 

Higgins tried his hardest to push back the tears as soon as he held their child for the first time. It was overwhelming to say the least, never in his wildest dreams did he ever think that he would actually have a child of his own. Yet lo and behold, he held their baby, the baby that he had helped make, in his arms for the first time that day.

He eventually found enough strength within himself to stand, his attention drawn to the worn out voice of his husband from across the room. As Xu and Phyllis made an effort to clean up around him, Laurent had hoisted himself up in the hospital bed, holding out his hands and coaxing Higgins over. 

He was exhausted, and he certainly looked the part too. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat, long, messy hair strewn and sticking across his face. His fingers clambered against the bedside table as he paused to reach for his glasses, wincing as he shifted and tried his best to ignore the postnatal pain. 

It had definitely been a long 9 months, but despite the tired look on his face, Laurent practically melted when Higgins carefully handed their baby over. They were no longer just a married couple, but two proud fathers of a little boy, and now they would look after him for the rest of their lives.

A few days later, they gave him a name, and now his existence fills Higgins’ life with meaning, just as Laurent’s has. 

It has been three years since Felix first entered the world, and now he is a toddler, growing rapidly with each passing day. And now that he has had the time to start growing into his body and face, it is easy to see where he gets all of his features from. 

He takes after Higgins mostly, with his dark hair and brown eyes and slightly tanned skin. He has the softness of Laurent’s face, and though his eyes may be dark, they share the same sparkle of Laurent’s own. If anything, Higgins muses that Felix’s eyes are more like the night sky that his husband is ever so fond of.

Perhaps most notably, though, is the way his hair is styled. Whilst not entirely troublesome, he is a fussy baby that will not let a pair of scissors go anywhere towards his head. Though they are able to keep it under control to some degree, Felix’s hair is long like Laurent’s, resting on his shoulders, bangs held back by an array of colourful clips.

But in the end, Felix is just a perfect mixture of the two of them, a product of their love that they cherish with all of their hearts in turn. Higgins couldn’t wish for a better child, because his baby is his and Laurent’s alone, and anything that they have created together is surely superior to anything else.

There is nothing that Higgins wouldn’t do to protect them both. The man who saved his life and loved him without hesitation, and their precious, tiny child who’s adorable giggles keep the light in his heart burning strong, even when the darkness sometimes creeps back in. 

Without them he was desolate, a struggling man trying to stay afloat in a world that had been cruel to him since birth. He had lost so much in his past, people, chances, opportunities to lead a better life, all things that were held far away and out of his grasp. But when he succumbed to the rolling waves, pulled into the tide of Laurent’s love, it was then that he realized that he no longer had to fight his way through life ever again.

Where Laurent and Felix stand at the ocean shore, he will never fail to meet the two of them there. For as long as the sea is drawn by the moon and the stars above them continue to glow, Higgins knows where he is supposed to be. 

And he will always love them no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> :^)
> 
> Thank you for reading!! I will definitely try harder to commit to writing more and more often! I actually have a draft of a NSFW fic between these two in my documents so if anyone wants to see that, let me know!


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